Jordan loathes bios. Jordan hates when people talk about themselves in 3rd person. Jordan is tweakin. Jordan likes to drink Yuengling. Jordan looks at porn when his lady is doing yoga. Jordan doesn't want you to tell her that. Jordan is a nuerotic, self-obsessed non-blogger. Jordan wants to dive into a large body of water with a knife in his mouth. Jordan is currently wearing a cape. Jordan would like to get kicked out of a casino for winning too much money. Jordan has a dog that needs a bath. Jordan is the Worlds Leading Expert in the life of Peter Tomarkin. Jordan participates in synchronized group dance during any Kenny Loggins song. Jordan is an Illegal Immigrant. Jordan is voting for Hannah Montana. Jordan likes the word shsfdnvioasodfsdjfffffffff. Jordan doesn't understand why all of his pants pockets come from the store sewn together. Jordan has hair plugs. Jordans lady is never wrong. Jordan looks great in a pantsuit. Jordans real name is Rosenblatt. Jordan doesn't like when you do that. Stop doing that. Seriously. Stop. Jordan likes to do all of his shopping on horseback. Jordan stole that joke from Pat Dixon. Jordan hates the guy that wears 2 polo shirts at the same time and pops both collars. Jordan pet peeve is when TV and radio people ask about your pet peeves. Jordan is wondering how much of this you're actually reading. Jordans middle name is Kraig. Jordans nickname in high school was uck. Jordan would like better gifts from strangers this year. Jordan wants to cuddle with you. Yes you. Right now. Lets make this happen.

I'm actually too nice for the internet to accept me.